Recently, I was connected to a fellow survivor who is compiling a book of letters to cancers. The book will come out next year, 2021, sometime and the proceeds with go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation Australia. I was happy to include my letter below.
Hey Cancer, my name is Rifka Coleman and I was 37 when you came into my life. Never in a million years did I suspect breast cancer would be a part of my life story. No family history of cancer in general, and yet here I am, faced with the beast. Hey Cancer, funny thing, I used to say often how I wanted to be known by more than my pretty face. Well, I guess you better be careful what you ask for.
At 37, things were just starting to look up. My husband finally landed a job, after losing his 9 months prior. We were getting health insurance again and our two oldest children were seniors in high school. We had some room to breathe, it seemed, since financially things were getting better. Well that was until, cancer crept into my breast. It was just a few days after Valentine’s day, when I felt the lump and 14 days until my insurance kicked in. Needless to say, just when we thought life was going to get a little easier, the cancer diagnosis hit. It does not seem fair. We never can catch a break.
While I started this long road to fighting cancer, I was granted life coaching sessions from a local organization. Initially, the sessions were supposed to be geared to helping cope with our emotionally and behaviorally challenged son, who was adopted 2 years ago. But a couple of sessions in, my life coach knew she needed to focus on my mental health instead.
You know what cancer? I am thankful for you. It sounds cliché, but it is true. If I did not face you square on myself, I would not have found my purpose otherwise. I did not know what God was calling me to do. I was lost. Now, it is without a doubt I am supposed to help other women facing you…you nasty beast.
I was privileged to have life coaching for over 25 hours during my 20 weeks of chemotherapy. I was a little reluctant at first to embrace the calls. I did not want to do therapy or tell someone my issues. But this was so much different. My life coach helped me in ways I did not know possible. Prior to cancer, I was always deemed optimistic, energetic, and joyful. Cancer, you stole that from me, at least initially, along with my outer beauty and breast.
Just like my incisions needed time to heal, so did the wounds of my heart and soul. My life coach helped me find my path to healing. She led me on the dark path, which she lit as we embraced the steps of healing and recovery together. Each week, she taught me new methods and techniques on how to act and react to different situations.
As life threw me the cancer curve ball, it was serendipitous that my life coach was there to watch me navigate the bases. It was only with her aid that I was now a better person, not because of you, cancer, but because I put in the work to be who I wanted to be.
Now, cancer, as you may go and attack another young woman, I must warn you. I am looking for that lady myself. I will assist her along her path and light it, just as it was done for me. Cancer you are in fact a force to be reckon with, but I am up for the fight. I was a victim at first, but I turned that pain into purpose – and do not think for one second this very event has not fueled my burning desire to mobilize my ability to help heal those women in need.
Cancer, this is not an idle threat. Although, I know you will not stop, please understand that neither will I. I will continue to search and find the women you touch and walk with them. I will ensure they find the will and desire to fight back, just as I did. Cancer, you will not win. You will take the hair, breasts, and ovaries, but you will not take our spirit.