Waiting 4 weeks between ending chemo and surgery seemed to take forever. I felt terrible for about 3 of them. Once chemo was over I thought I would bounce back quickly. Turns out, It took about 3 weeks to start to feel like me. I had awful headaches and over all yuckiness. My mind wandered often to whether or not I was sicker than the doctors knew or led on about. I'd call the nurse and ask what was wrong with me. I mean chemo was over.....shouldn't I feel good?! Breast cancer is odd like that. You feel great, then make yourself feel sick with the treatments, in order to feel great again. Honestly, it is more of a mental game than physical.
I had to get a breast MRI, the day before my surgery was scheduled. This was the last step, which would tell the doctors a better picture about what was going on in the left cancer-y breast and if anything was happening in the right breast. The radiologist called me late that afternoon with the results. Everything looked great. The words out of her mouth were negative findings. I started to cry with joy. I asked her how was that possible since I had not had surgery yet, and she insisted that chemo must have done it's job well. She could not see anything left. She was not able to see the missing clip either. I must mention that my dad had to drive me since I needed a chill pill to get inside that MRI machine!
I decide to work a half day on surgery day. I figured it would help keep my mind occupied so I do not get antsy. Surgery was going to be outpatient, so I decided to take only the essentials. My phone, charger, crossword puzzle, and sweatpants. I didn't want to wear the sweatpants to the hospital because I just could not bear looking like I had pajamas on. I work a special button down shirt with pockets to hold drains and leggings. I made sure to wear slip on shoes, because those were easy to get on unassisted.
Once my dad arrived at our house to watch the kids, Jack and I left for the hospital. We had to wait a little bit before getting called back. Jack was not able to stay with me, due to covid-19 (insert crying emoji). Once I was back there, he left to drive the kids to papa's house. Papa was going to care for them a few days, so that I could rest (easier) after surgery. While Jack was gone, my sister Fawn, came to wait at the hospital, just in case an emergency arose. It made me feel so much better knowing that just a few feet away there was someone who could rescue me.
As soon as I got called back, the nurse, Chaley, had me change into a gown and give a urine sample. She asked if there was a chance I was pregnant. I said no! I have an IUD and just endured 20 weeks of chemo! She explained it is just policy and procedure to test. Of course, I understand that and continue waiting. She was a sweet lady from Rockingham. She was near my age and we talked about our kids. It helped keep my mind calm.
Not too much time passes and another nurse, Amy, is ready to take me to radiology. However, Chaley tells her we need to wait. There is an issue. She explained that my pregnancy test came back positive. After nearly passing out, I believe my response was this must be the second immaculate conception. And then I said, I am sorry is my name Mary? I explained again, there is NO WAY that is accurate. She said she texted 3 times and they are all positive. She called in the Anesthesiologist and my surgeon. No one seemed bothered that the test was positive (besides me) and they said they would make slight changes to medications by all was fine. I asked for an HCG blood test to verify.
Now off to Radiology. I had to walk around the block with my wonderful gown and bright yellow slip resistant socks. Amy tried to isolate the clip on ultrasound, in order to make it easier for the radiologist, Dr. Denile, to do the needle localization. After about 45 minutes, the Doctor came in. Amy nor Dr. Denile could find either clip. They tried hard to find both clips. The doctor found one spot that she thought might be it. She told me she was "going fishing". The needle localization is a long needle with a hook on it. They numb the surface of the breast, then stick the hook in the area. This helps the doctor know where to cut and what to remove. The want the hook to go through the center of the area of concern. I will post a picture below. I had to walk next door and stand for a mammogram to see if the hook was in the correct place. Well the doctor, didn't catch a fish or a tumor. She had to remove the needle and try again. While sitting, they took more mammogram images and she was able to hook the clip and felt good about its placement. The needle is legitimately poking through my chest and the gown. Amy uses a cup and tape to secure it while I walk back to the pre-op room. Who knew a solo cup had so many uses. I wanted to take a picture of what it looked like sticking out of my chest, but it is not permitted in that area. Sorry guys, I am trying to document as much as I can and I thought that was very needed. I had no idea what to expect from the procedure, but it wasn't as bad as it sounds. There was some pain, but it was tolerable.
Once I arrived back to the pre-op bay, all the nurses had the low down. Was I pregnant or not? All of the nurses were very invested in the results. It almost felt like I was on Maury Povich and he was going to pull out the paper from the envelope. One nurse calls out to me and says it's negative. I quickly try to call Jack and let him know the news. At this point there were about 6 people or more in this tiny room. I have ladies all around me prepping me for surgery. The doctor comes in and takes a peek at the needle under the cup. She draws some lines where she will cut and says see ya in a few. The nurse anesthetist shot my IV with versed to keep me calm, but that stuff doesn't work for me. If you know me. I am chatty. Well add in nerves and I get very chatty and funny evidently.
I roll into the OR and there is a small crew. A nurse starts jacking my bed up so I can crawl over to the other bed. As I get in place, the other nurse starts cutting my gown off because it is stuck in my IV line. The next thing I remember is waking up with a popsicle in my hand. A red one to be exact. The clock read 7:09. I handed over my phone at 3:45, so I was out for a little over 3 hours. I had red everywhere from the pop. All over the white blanket and my face. I was wiping my face with my hand and it was covered in sticky redness. I said to the nurse - I thought we were friends? She asked what was wrong and I told her I had red crap all over my face and she didn't tell me. I was in and out of it but, cracking jokes along the way. I found gauze in my top. I looked down and asked the nurse what that was about. I said I haven't been stuffing my bra since middle school. Folks, I never did that. Why I said it, who knows, but I am assuming to be funny. I got sick from the anesthesia. The red popsicle was still red when I saw it for the second time.
I was alert enough to go home. The nurse was ready to help me get dressed and asked where my underwear was. I told her I did not wear any because I knew I would not be able to put them back on myself. She said that was clever! She wanted to help me slide on my sweatpants and the stubborn gal that I am, I didn't, and then I put my own shoes on. I was quite curious about the tight wrap they put on me. I was told that I would be wearing a granny bra after surgery. Now, ya'll I do not know what your granny wears, but I know for dang sure My granny didn't wear this thing. It was lavender and filly. It looked like a top I would have worn in college clubbing. Jack told me a few stories that the nurse told him as she was wheeling me out to get in the car. You'll have to ask him about that. All I can say is I do not remember much of the car ride home, just snippets.
Once I got home around 9pm, Fawn tucked me into bed and brought me some pretzels to munch on. I still wasn't feeling great and got sick a little bit more, before holding Jack's hand and falling asleep for the night. My aunt Ginger made us dinner and sent the most beautiful flower bouquet. She sure does know how to make me feel loved.
My body was sore in the morning. I had bad bruising starting and a skin reaction to something. I was itchy and uncomfortable. I will add a photo of the lymph incision but I will spare you the nipple one. I laid in bed most of the day and slept on and off. Sunday wasn't too different. I napped and snacked when I could. I decided it was time to take a shower. Jack helped me since I was still pretty weak. The left arm was not able to reach the top of my head, so he help wash my fuzz too. Monday, I relaxed and napped, as well. But come Tuesday, it was back to work.
I didn't feel great but needed to muscle through it. My boss called and asked why I was working so soon. Well, mainly because I can't afford to be out any longer than necessary and the work was piling up. It felt good to be back in action. After work, my aunt Deb and cousin Paul drove to Charlotte. They drove over 14 hours round trip! They came just to fill my freezer and fridge full of food for post surgery recovery. It was way too long since I had seen them. My mom and them made all kinds of amazing foods. There are a variety of dishes and my freezer and deep freezer are packed! It was so good to see them and I hated for the trip to be so short. Paul is a balloon artist and made me the best pink ribbon. The kids also got him to make them some!
