Wednesday, March 4, 2020
It was finally time to go see the doctor that would kick start this quest. Dr. White was coming from surgery and was delayed. Shanti, his nurse, was sweet and tried to let us know before we headed that way, but we were already in route. I’d waited several days for that appointment, what was another half hour. Honestly, I just said a quick prayer for the women he was operating on, hopefully she was ok.
Another day, another gown. So, there I was topless, waiting in the cold room with my husband and mom. Dr. White and a resident student came in. He talked for a bit, examined me, and then showed me my mammogram pictures. He explained his decision for medication first was because “it made his job easier”. My motto is always work smart, not hard. I decided I liked him, right then. He spent a long time with us. Giving us each an opportunity to ask questions. He explained that he didn’t believe it was two tumor and instead just one big one, about 4cm. Also, he reassured me that my lymph nodes still looked good on film and after his physical examination, he had high hopes that he could help me become an old women.
What you may not realize is that when you are diagnosed with cancer, your mind tends to go in a million directions; trekking to paranoia land often. I had a pain or tender spot on my body and straight up asked Dr. White if I was dying of bone cancer. He got a smirk and said, “probably not”. Then he continued to educate me that it wouldn’t be bone cancer, but breast cancer that traveled within the body. I thanked him for the lesson, because knowledge is power (and helps you not look like a big idiot). From all the survivors I’ve spoken to thus far, every single one, has agreed that paranoia doesn’t dissipate.
Once Dr. White was done with the consultation, we waited for Angela to come meet us. She sat and talked like there was nothing else she had to do. It was comforting to have that one-on-one attention. She wanted to make sure I understood everything that just happened and everything about to happen.
That one appointment spawned 8 more: Bone scan, CT scan, Genetics, Radiation Oncologist, Medication Oncologist, Echocardiogram, and the Cardiologist.
When processing the time spent with Dr. White, we felt well informed. My husband felt more optimistic with the statistics and I felt like at least having a plan (type A here) made me feel better.